You have three choices when it comes to your wedding vows:

  1. Repeat-after-me
  2. Writing your own
  3. A combination of both

Does the thought of writing your own vows terrify you?  Here are some strategies to help you through the anxiety:

Write from your heart
Many couples send me their written vows to make sure they are ‘right.’  99% of the time, my response is ‘they’re perfect; don’t change a thing!’  If you speak from your heart, they will always be right!

Include your sense of humor
It’s perfectly okay to include:

I promise to love you more tomorrow, than I do today.

Followed by:

I promise to always pick you up a sweet treat when I go to the gas station.

Turn to the Internet
There are countless examples on the Internet on how to write your vows.  If you really want an example to follow, and don’t mind it not sounding like you, Google will give you ideas (or ChatGPT for that matter).

Share your word count
This is my #1 piece of advice!!!  Your word counts do not need to be exact, but they should be comparable.  It’s uneasy for everyone when one vow is about a paragraph long, and their partner’s is a page and a half.

And, if you’re still uneasy about sharing private words in a public setting, consider sharing them privately during the first look and opt for the repeat-after-me vows.

Your professional Officiant can help guide you during this process, as can the Elevate Team.  Feel free to reach out with questions you may have.

by Denise O’Malley, Managing Officiant

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